To test or not to test?

That is the question. And it is, unsurprisingly, what everyone experiencing the excrutiating 'two week wait' asks themselves every day.

Every single niggle or cramp makes you think, on a rotational basis, that you are either immediately due your period or that you are pregnant. But which is it?

Over the past ten days, I have experienced slight pain, cramping, bloating, excessive tiredness and, most recently, nausea. All signs of a pregnancy, you scream! Yes, but also signs of your period... its a cruel twist that the exact symptoms you so long for can indeed be your regular monthly visitor.

But, I have to say, I have been SHATTERED this week. So much so that I have had to go home from work early on two occasions. I have also felt nauseous and dehydrated, despite drinking nearly 3 litres of water a day (which, by the way, adds to the tiredness by getting me up in the middle of the night to pee).

Last night I had the most vivid dream that I was pregnant, with twins no less, and that I was panicking about where we would live. I woke up, panicking about where we would live if we had twins and, rather ill advisedly, decided to take a quick pregnancy test (naturally, I have about 10 to hand).

After peeing on the stick I staggered back to bed, clutching said stick, ready for another half an hours doze before getting up. I was not particularly bothered by the result, as a 'Not Pregnant' result could also mean it was too early to tell.

A few minutes later I glanced over at the small digital screen only to see the million dollar words 'Pregnant 1-2 weeks'. I couldn't believe it. I had to wake up my wife and show her the screen (which she couldn't see anyway, without her glasses on) before it became real. But there it was... what we had hoped and dreamed for... and it seems, frighteningly, too good to be true.

An even bigger wait begins now. I have to wait to miss my period and pray that this isn't just a chemical pregnancy (basically resulting in an early miscarriage) and then, if that goes well, we have to wait the eternal 3 months before telling the world our good news (telling you doesn't count).

How on EARTH is it possible to keep this quiet!?