I've been off the radar for some time which, in part, was due to the fact that my Internet has been down and I've also been away. But here I am!
I've become a bit of a lump that sits on a couch all day feeling sick, emotional and shattered. No kidding, the constant nausea, which I am told by all and sundry is a 'good sign', is pretty waring and I'm only 10 days in to the sickness stage... it could well last another 7 weeks or more. Eek.
This, of course, makes it difficult to eat all of the good stuff that I am supposed to be consuming at this time. Dairy and fruit and veg are the last think I want to eat as they make me want to put my head in the toilet but I'm supposed to be consuming 5-6 portions of dairy and 5 or more portions of fruit and veg a day. I reckon I'd be lucky if I was getting half that at the moment - thank god for Pregnacare multivitamins!
Having said that, I did have lunch with someone at the weekend who vomited non-stop for the first 14 weeks so I'm not doing TOO badly. Hmm... let's hope it stays that way!
Monday is the day of my first scan. Very nervous. I am assuming everything is okay as I have all the positive signs, but you never can tell. I've heard all the horror stories so I'm prepared for anything. We will also find out if it is one 'bean' or two. I'm clearly hoping for one but we'll take what we get and as long as they are healthy and in one piece we'll be over the moon.
As ever, watch this space.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
To test or not to test?
That is the question. And it is, unsurprisingly, what everyone experiencing the excrutiating 'two week wait' asks themselves every day.
Every single niggle or cramp makes you think, on a rotational basis, that you are either immediately due your period or that you are pregnant. But which is it?
Over the past ten days, I have experienced slight pain, cramping, bloating, excessive tiredness and, most recently, nausea. All signs of a pregnancy, you scream! Yes, but also signs of your period... its a cruel twist that the exact symptoms you so long for can indeed be your regular monthly visitor.
But, I have to say, I have been SHATTERED this week. So much so that I have had to go home from work early on two occasions. I have also felt nauseous and dehydrated, despite drinking nearly 3 litres of water a day (which, by the way, adds to the tiredness by getting me up in the middle of the night to pee).
Last night I had the most vivid dream that I was pregnant, with twins no less, and that I was panicking about where we would live. I woke up, panicking about where we would live if we had twins and, rather ill advisedly, decided to take a quick pregnancy test (naturally, I have about 10 to hand).
After peeing on the stick I staggered back to bed, clutching said stick, ready for another half an hours doze before getting up. I was not particularly bothered by the result, as a 'Not Pregnant' result could also mean it was too early to tell.
A few minutes later I glanced over at the small digital screen only to see the million dollar words 'Pregnant 1-2 weeks'. I couldn't believe it. I had to wake up my wife and show her the screen (which she couldn't see anyway, without her glasses on) before it became real. But there it was... what we had hoped and dreamed for... and it seems, frighteningly, too good to be true.
An even bigger wait begins now. I have to wait to miss my period and pray that this isn't just a chemical pregnancy (basically resulting in an early miscarriage) and then, if that goes well, we have to wait the eternal 3 months before telling the world our good news (telling you doesn't count).
How on EARTH is it possible to keep this quiet!?
Every single niggle or cramp makes you think, on a rotational basis, that you are either immediately due your period or that you are pregnant. But which is it?
Over the past ten days, I have experienced slight pain, cramping, bloating, excessive tiredness and, most recently, nausea. All signs of a pregnancy, you scream! Yes, but also signs of your period... its a cruel twist that the exact symptoms you so long for can indeed be your regular monthly visitor.
But, I have to say, I have been SHATTERED this week. So much so that I have had to go home from work early on two occasions. I have also felt nauseous and dehydrated, despite drinking nearly 3 litres of water a day (which, by the way, adds to the tiredness by getting me up in the middle of the night to pee).
Last night I had the most vivid dream that I was pregnant, with twins no less, and that I was panicking about where we would live. I woke up, panicking about where we would live if we had twins and, rather ill advisedly, decided to take a quick pregnancy test (naturally, I have about 10 to hand).
After peeing on the stick I staggered back to bed, clutching said stick, ready for another half an hours doze before getting up. I was not particularly bothered by the result, as a 'Not Pregnant' result could also mean it was too early to tell.
A few minutes later I glanced over at the small digital screen only to see the million dollar words 'Pregnant 1-2 weeks'. I couldn't believe it. I had to wake up my wife and show her the screen (which she couldn't see anyway, without her glasses on) before it became real. But there it was... what we had hoped and dreamed for... and it seems, frighteningly, too good to be true.
An even bigger wait begins now. I have to wait to miss my period and pray that this isn't just a chemical pregnancy (basically resulting in an early miscarriage) and then, if that goes well, we have to wait the eternal 3 months before telling the world our good news (telling you doesn't count).
How on EARTH is it possible to keep this quiet!?
Monday, 12 July 2010
The Waiting Game
Friday afternoon I did another ovulation test and it showed the lovely smiling face to denote a recent LH surge. This meant only one thing; Show Time.
I phoned the clinic and informed them that I had ovulated so that they could change my Saturday morning scan to an IUI. I was due in at 10am.
Friday night was an unbearable wait. My wife and I relaxed, as best we both could, with a movie and some good food. I even allowed myself a glass of wine, in the hope that it might be my last for several months.
We drove to the clinic on Saturday, mainly because we were due at my Mother's house on the South Coast for lunch and were unlikely to make it if we took the train (as it was the traffic out of London was so bad, we were only just in time and my blood pressure was no doubt far too high). Driving also meant I could sit down straight afterwards and not move for a couple of hours - though, as previously mentioned, in London traffic this does not necessarily mean you are relaxed.
The clinic was surprisingly busy for a Saturday but we were eventually shown into the medical room at around 10.15. After confirming the donor sample was correct and signing documents to prove I understood the procedure, the doctor performed the IUI in less than 5 minutes. It is no more painful than a smear and takes no more time. I was allowed to rest a few moments and then we were good to go; pregnancy test in hand and good luck wishes from the nurses.
And then the waiting game begins. I have to wait 16 days (14 from today) before I can take a pregnancy test to find out if we have been successful in our first attempt. We are trying to stay positive but realistic. It is easy to get excited but we must remember the odds are less than one in four.
All I can do now is drinks litres of water every day, avoid alcohol and caffeine and take it easy for 14 more days. And counting.
I phoned the clinic and informed them that I had ovulated so that they could change my Saturday morning scan to an IUI. I was due in at 10am.
Friday night was an unbearable wait. My wife and I relaxed, as best we both could, with a movie and some good food. I even allowed myself a glass of wine, in the hope that it might be my last for several months.
We drove to the clinic on Saturday, mainly because we were due at my Mother's house on the South Coast for lunch and were unlikely to make it if we took the train (as it was the traffic out of London was so bad, we were only just in time and my blood pressure was no doubt far too high). Driving also meant I could sit down straight afterwards and not move for a couple of hours - though, as previously mentioned, in London traffic this does not necessarily mean you are relaxed.
The clinic was surprisingly busy for a Saturday but we were eventually shown into the medical room at around 10.15. After confirming the donor sample was correct and signing documents to prove I understood the procedure, the doctor performed the IUI in less than 5 minutes. It is no more painful than a smear and takes no more time. I was allowed to rest a few moments and then we were good to go; pregnancy test in hand and good luck wishes from the nurses.
And then the waiting game begins. I have to wait 16 days (14 from today) before I can take a pregnancy test to find out if we have been successful in our first attempt. We are trying to stay positive but realistic. It is easy to get excited but we must remember the odds are less than one in four.
All I can do now is drinks litres of water every day, avoid alcohol and caffeine and take it easy for 14 more days. And counting.
Friday, 9 July 2010
Getting closer
So yesterday couldn't have gone better. The scan showed 3 folicles growing, two of which should reach maturity very soon. I am still none the wiser from looking at the ultra sounds but the nurses get mighty excited by the little dots on the screen, I can tell you.
It's a bit of a waiting game now. I peed on a stick this morning to check whether I had ovulated (I hadn't) and will check again tomorrow morning. I also need to give myself a final Gonal-F injection tonight, just to boost everything along nicely.
Tomorrow is day 12 for my cycle. For the past 6 months I have ovulated on day 12 (I am literally Miss Average) so I am pretty hopeful that tomorrow will be no different. If that happens I will then have the IUI at 08.45 tomorrow morning! I Can't tell you how exciting that is. It seems as though it has taken forever to get to this point.
The hardest thing, now, is to remain calm and reflective about it all. I have to remember, despite the nurse's exclamations about how wonderful my folicles, tubes and womb lining are, that the chances of this happening for me first time is less than one in four. Which are pretty crappy odds in the cold light of day.
I'm keeping fingers (and legs) crossed from now on...
It's a bit of a waiting game now. I peed on a stick this morning to check whether I had ovulated (I hadn't) and will check again tomorrow morning. I also need to give myself a final Gonal-F injection tonight, just to boost everything along nicely.
Tomorrow is day 12 for my cycle. For the past 6 months I have ovulated on day 12 (I am literally Miss Average) so I am pretty hopeful that tomorrow will be no different. If that happens I will then have the IUI at 08.45 tomorrow morning! I Can't tell you how exciting that is. It seems as though it has taken forever to get to this point.
The hardest thing, now, is to remain calm and reflective about it all. I have to remember, despite the nurse's exclamations about how wonderful my folicles, tubes and womb lining are, that the chances of this happening for me first time is less than one in four. Which are pretty crappy odds in the cold light of day.
I'm keeping fingers (and legs) crossed from now on...
Thursday, 8 July 2010
Scan 2
My return scan is today and, I have to say, it couldn't have come quick enough. I'm now starting to feel a little discomfort around the stomach area so I'll be glad to get everything checked out and see what is happening.
Really hoping they will find that I am on track for insemination next week....
On the plus side, you'll be pleased to know I managed to stop being a wimp last night and injected myself for the first time. I pretty much had to, my partner had been out drinking all night and I was the only sober one in the house - it was me or the dog!
Really hoping they will find that I am on track for insemination next week....
On the plus side, you'll be pleased to know I managed to stop being a wimp last night and injected myself for the first time. I pretty much had to, my partner had been out drinking all night and I was the only sober one in the house - it was me or the dog!
Monday, 5 July 2010
And another thing...
Some other sites I have found that could be useful to those starting out.
Legal issues:
http://www.cgfamilylaw.co.uk/children-same-sex-parenting/42/index.html
Alternative methods of starting a family:
http://www.co-parents.net/indexeng.php?lang=english
For the Aussies amongst you:
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/parenting_in_a_same-sex_relationship.html
For the undecided:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn6670-lesbian-couples-raise-welladjusted-teenagers.html
For getting your body in shape:
http://www.fertilefoods.com/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy/basic-pre-conception-health-habits-for-women/
There are also plenty of message boards out there where you can share your experiences. If you're a fan of sharing and caring, try:
http://www.gingerbeer.co.uk/
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/
Another injection tonight - joy. As a side note, I have noticed I've been getting headaches every day but, again, I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the extra hormones or whether it is to do with this glorious heat-wave. I'll ask the nurse on Thursday and report back (about the headaches, obviously, I'm not sure she'll be able to tell me anything about the weather).
You'd think the recommended two litres of water a day would prevent headaches but all that seems to do is make me pee every half an hour. And on that note...
Legal issues:
http://www.cgfamilylaw.co.uk/children-same-sex-parenting/42/index.html
Alternative methods of starting a family:
http://www.co-parents.net/indexeng.php?lang=english
For the Aussies amongst you:
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/parenting_in_a_same-sex_relationship.html
For the undecided:
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn6670-lesbian-couples-raise-welladjusted-teenagers.html
For getting your body in shape:
http://www.fertilefoods.com/healthy-pregnancy/pregnancy/basic-pre-conception-health-habits-for-women/
There are also plenty of message boards out there where you can share your experiences. If you're a fan of sharing and caring, try:
http://www.gingerbeer.co.uk/
http://www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/
Another injection tonight - joy. As a side note, I have noticed I've been getting headaches every day but, again, I'm not sure if this has anything to do with the extra hormones or whether it is to do with this glorious heat-wave. I'll ask the nurse on Thursday and report back (about the headaches, obviously, I'm not sure she'll be able to tell me anything about the weather).
You'd think the recommended two litres of water a day would prevent headaches but all that seems to do is make me pee every half an hour. And on that note...
Cheaper Options...
I'm still injecting Gonal F every other day and have so far not had any side-effects. I feel super tired but that is probably just after having had a hectic weekend, rather than anything to do with the hormones!
Yes, I am still being a complete wimp about injecting myself - despite it being a really easy to use injector-pen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. Most people find it very easy, I am told, so it is obviously just me.
I mentioned in a previous note about the costs of this process. It is no small sum, let me tell you, and for some of us it takes a long time to save up only to end in heartache. Each of my Assisted IUI attempts will cost a little over £2000 all in. That includes sperm which is a giant £850 of the total amount.
That in mind, I know some people have found different routes to enable them to have a child. There is no funding for same-sex couples on the NHS, at least not in my area, so people are forced to get creative if they cannot afford to go private.
One website (see link below) offers you a safe and secure way of finding your own sperm donor with just a fraction of the cost. There is a small sign-up fee, then a small monthly fee, but it enables you to search the databases and find donors who are willing to come to your area (usually meeting in a hotel) and donate 'on the spot' so that you are able to artificially inseminate at your optimum time.
Now, this is obviously not going to be for everyone but this does make it possible to have a number of attempts at around 10% of the cost it would take to go private. No wonder so many people, heterosexual couples and gay couples alike, are taking their fertility into their own hands and opting for this service.
If this is something that interests you, however, PLEASE make sure you follow all the guidelines on the website to ensure that you only use someone who has all of their required tests completed and make sure that you are safe at all times.
http://www.free-sperm-donations.com/
Yes, I am still being a complete wimp about injecting myself - despite it being a really easy to use injector-pen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it. Most people find it very easy, I am told, so it is obviously just me.
I mentioned in a previous note about the costs of this process. It is no small sum, let me tell you, and for some of us it takes a long time to save up only to end in heartache. Each of my Assisted IUI attempts will cost a little over £2000 all in. That includes sperm which is a giant £850 of the total amount.
That in mind, I know some people have found different routes to enable them to have a child. There is no funding for same-sex couples on the NHS, at least not in my area, so people are forced to get creative if they cannot afford to go private.
One website (see link below) offers you a safe and secure way of finding your own sperm donor with just a fraction of the cost. There is a small sign-up fee, then a small monthly fee, but it enables you to search the databases and find donors who are willing to come to your area (usually meeting in a hotel) and donate 'on the spot' so that you are able to artificially inseminate at your optimum time.
Now, this is obviously not going to be for everyone but this does make it possible to have a number of attempts at around 10% of the cost it would take to go private. No wonder so many people, heterosexual couples and gay couples alike, are taking their fertility into their own hands and opting for this service.
If this is something that interests you, however, PLEASE make sure you follow all the guidelines on the website to ensure that you only use someone who has all of their required tests completed and make sure that you are safe at all times.
http://www.free-sperm-donations.com/
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